As a teenager I put my life in a holding pattern because I believed that time was running out too quickly to make any long-range plans. I was a bit surprised and encouraged recently to discover that I was not the only one confused in this way. In one of his books, Dr. Bill Hamon writes:
“…When I first came out of Bible college I expected to be launched into worldwide ministry…I was full of zeal, vision, dedication, and determination. My wrong perception brought pressure and impatience. I, like many other ministers of that time, was convinced that Jesus was coming any moment. We had no time to waste and I definitely believed that Jesus was going to return before I turned thirty. We could only think in terms of months, not years. Waiting and patience was not part of our vocabulary then; everything had to be done today because there was not going to be any tomorrow…”
I was like a group of folks who received a stern warning for their preoccupation with watching the sky for Jesus to return. Paul had written in his first letter to the Thessalonians that they should patiently wait for Christ’s return. I have heard that some Christians misunderstood that advice and were actually sitting around on their roof-top patios just watching the sky! So Paul had to follow up in his second letter with a warning to not be idle but rather to work while they were waiting.
However, putting my life on hold because I expected Jesus to return soon wasn’t the biggest problem. Somehow, I could never make the transition of “Yes, the world is coming to an end, but Jesus is coming back; isn’t that wonderful?” I experienced a great deal of guilt over my reluctance to change my residence to the heavenly kingdom waiting for me when this earthly existence is over. I did, and do, sincerely love God. I simply felt the pressure of the undefined and unfulfilled in my life. And this in itself was a source of angst which seemed to contain no hope of release.
On the bright side, I did commit to spend my life, however short it may be, in service to God and His kingdom. The idea of serving Him whole-heartedly, and also help others do so as well, gave me deep satisfaction. Determined to not be like the “barn builder”, I decided to forfeit a college education because “there is simply too much work to be done”. Instead, in my early twenties I landed what was a dream job for me. I went to work on staff at a wonderful Christian residential rehabilitation ministry for broken-hearted women fighting various addictions.
A wise pastor once stated in his sermon, “Preparation time is not wasted time.” I only wish that idea had permeated my brain much earlier. That same pastor also said, “There are two ways to learn: by instruction, or by experience. And one doesn’t hurt!”
Ouch! I soon became painfully aware of my limited effectiveness in my dream job. But much of what I lacked could have been remedied with some focused training. Unfortunately I had no long-range vision. So I never made space in my life to consistently take advantage of training options from which I might have been able to benefit. We’ve probably all heard someone say, “if I had only known at 20 what I know now!”
Fortunately for me, I am growing in my understanding of God’s grace. Specifically, I am comforted by His infinite ability to do beyond what I can imagine . And He is still patiently and lovingly working His plan in spite of all the side trails I have traveled in trying to follow Him. I walk with a deeper peace about His time table. I am beginning to get a glimpse of the bigger picture of the kingdom He is building which is beyond the confines of time and space.
Yes, Jesus could return at any moment and we need to live with a holy reverence towards His sovereign timing. Remember my research paper? It was written over twenty years ago. World events have continued to pile up on the “fulfilled prophecies” side of the equation. However, we need to balance making the most of every opportunity in the “now” with also preparing for a future as wise stewards over all that has been entrusted to us. And this certainly includes purposefully using our time to develop our gifts in whatever ways possible to better serve Him.
So now I am neither busy building more barns nor living on the roof-top with my telescope out. Instead, I’m seeking and finding ways to be trained in the exercise of my God-given abilities. And I have come to believe that those undefined and unfulfilled desires I sensed as a teen were placed in me by a loving God who seeks to give an abundant life to His children. The sense of urgency is no longer a pressure point but rather is balanced by a growing hope in the One who holds time in His hands.
0 Responses to “Sky-watchers & Bigger Barns part 2”