Sky-watchers & Bigger Barns (part 1)

 

I never expected to see forty years of age.  No, I have never been diagnosed with a terminal illness.  But I have come to realize that I have lived many years of my life as if there was a death sentence over my head.  The subconscious thought that I would live a very short life was casting shadows on all my plans and hindering my ability to set long-term goals.  And where did this idea come from?  I am embarrassed to confess that I gathered this, in part,  from poor exegesis.  Admittedly, the Christian doctrines taught to me may have been delivered accurately but then warped as they passed through the screen of my own life experiences and personal perspectives.

Actually, it was not so much the idea of dying as the expectation that this life, as we know it, was not going to last much longer.  I refer to the Christian doctrine regarding the Rapture- the soon return of our Lord Jesus to take us with Him to heaven.  This was, and is, a wonderful teaching, presented to me from an early age.  This doctrine brings great joy to many people.  However, it created in me a feeling akin to watching an hourglass with most of the sand already in the bottom.  There is no wonder that I felt this way because this imagery is used at times to illustrate the “end times” or the “last days” as this period in church history is often called. 

Many sermons expound on prophecies being presently fulfilled which could signal the end of this dispensation. Often the ominous tone of such messages is deliberate because the speaker wishes to impart a sense of urgency in the listeners.  They are proclaiming, “Don’t waste another moment; time is running out! Get ready and get others ready for heaven!” Reflecting on these teachings, I felt a deep sense of responsibility over so much yet undone and so little time to do those things that would affect eternity.

This idea was so prominent in my mind that I chose the subject of  “End Time Prophecy” for my senior AP English final term paper.  Our teacher said we could choose any literature that fell within a certain time period. I noted with glee that the specified time frame included the translation of the Bible into English.  

By the way, my subject choice was a “pay-back” to the teacher because she forced me to do my first term paper on The Grapes of Wrath. At the time, I suspected that she wanted this diatribe of ignorant religious people to cure me of my youthful Christian zealousness which she no doubt discovered in my journal.  She bragged openly about knowing all kinds of juicy gossip from reading the journals of seniors.  And she required all her students to keep a personal journal and turn it in periodically “for our development as writers”.  I thought it was really for her snooping pleasure.  But I digress…

I did extensive research for this paper and even my teacher admitted that the list of sources (including many secular news accounts) was quite impressive and the evidence compelling.  She was a pagan, so I was just relieved to get a passing grade for this project. My research confirmed my growing fears; the world was indeed running down, judging by the prophecies already fulfilled versus the ones remaining to be played out.  

I was deeply concerned about all the people around me who were oblivious to their dangerous condition. So many people were living as if this life was all there is and there is nothing more.  Even many Christians seemed to handle salvation as merely fire insurance while this life was the sum total of all their efforts and hopes and dreams for success. This mentality reminds me of a parable which Jesus told in Luke 12:13-21:

“Beware! Guard against every kind of greed. Life is not measured by how much you own. Then Jesus told them a story:

 ‘A rich man had a fertile farm that produced fine crops. He said to himself, ‘What should I do? I don’t have room for all my crops.’  Then he said, ‘I know! I’ll tear down my barns and build bigger ones. Then I’ll have room enough to store all my wheat and other goods. And I’ll sit back and say to myself, ‘My friend, you have enough stored away for years to come. Now take it easy! Eat, drink, and be merry!’  But God said to him, ‘You fool! You will die this very night. Then who will get everything you worked for?’ 

Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.” (New Living Translation )

I was determined to not be like the selfish barn builder.  Also, I had sincere desire to help rescue others from eternal misery. And, most importantly, I genuinely wanted to please God.  These motives, in combination with the idea that time was quickly running out, caused me to have little interest in plans of a “normal” life- family, successful career, nice retirement. To a great degree my life went into a holding pattern which I was totally unaware of at the time.  I had no idea how much grief these faulty foundations would bring to me later in life.

(to be continued..)

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